“Actions speak louder than words.” It’s a saying I am sure everyone has heard. Everyone knows people who will say one thing and then do the complete opposite, and I am sure everyone is guilty of doing this themselves. When this happens you are showing what you TRULY value. For example, when you say that you should start saving money but continue to spend it recklessly, you are showing that you do not truly value your money. How do you become more aware of what you truly value? Well you can start by asking yourself some simple questions.
- How do you fill your personal and professional spaces? Look around your house, apartment, office, etc. and take note of what you see. Is it family photos, old trophies, books, and movies? Is it expensive vases, paintings, or jewelry? What you see around you is a strong indicator of what you value. You may think you value your high school state championship trophy but it has been in your attic for 3 years.
- How do you spend your free time? You will always make time for what you feel is important. People say that they never have time for what they want to do when in reality they ARE filling their time with what they value.
- How do you spend your energy? You will always have energy for what you truly value, even when you run out of energy for the things you do not. This because the doing things that you do not value will drain you, while doing things that you truly value and truly inspire you will bring you energy.
- How do you spend your money? When money is tight you will still find ways to spend money on the things that you value.
Now you may be able to see some similarities between what you fill your space with and how you spend your time, energy, and money. If so, that is great because you are already aligning your highest values, if you are not seeing any similarities you are not being honest with yourself. You may be answering these questions with what you wish or hope would be true, or what you think should be your answer based off either an external authority or some social idealism. The key is to be complete honest with yourself and know that you are doing this to align your life and there is no judgment.
Answering these 4 questions is a great starting point, but they are just that, only a starting point. If you truly want to identify where your true values lie, and how you can align all aspect of your life to your values and purpose, I always recommend to my clients and young coaches to read The Values Factors by Dr. John Demartini. His book not only will show you how to identify values with yourself but how to help others as well.
-Coach Dan Jones
OPEX North Scottsdale